Macrology

To Do
 - Compile a to do list.

I've danced around this issue with people before, but I don't think I've ever explicitly stated it:

I don't believe in losing friendships.

Losing implies that there was nothing you could do about it, that you were in no way at fault. And yet every instance of this I've seen has involved someone turning their back on their once friend out of anger. Often this is accompanied by some sentiment along the lines of "I can't handle X/Y/Z anymore."

I universally think less of people when this happens.

That's not to say I've never felt that sentiment, or that I'm as close to all of my friends as I've always been. (Heck, I'm completely out of touch with a number of my old friends, and with a couple I'm no longer sure where we stand.) But changes in intimacy and frequency of communication are different than the complete severing of a relationship. If my friend Mandy from elementary school, who I haven't spoken to in years, called me and asked me out for lunch, I would go to catch up. When I stepped back from people for a while because I could no longer handle the stress of being a confidant during a rather tumultuous time, they were still my friends. Even when I've been pissed off to the point of imagining brutal pain on people I'm normally close to, my thought is usually "I will wait until I'm sane again, and then we will fix this, even if it means we're not as close afterward."

That said, I do believe in downgrading and upgrading relationships on a regular basis. The amount of trust that I place in people is extremely limited, and though I try to be accepting of everything I dislike about my friends, there is still dislike there. If someone has a tendency to be snappy on certain subjects, I downgrade my appreciation for them minutely and avoid those subjects when they're around. And so on.

Most people close to me are at a fairly stable level in my life. I know what to expect from them and I act accordingly. But people can still surprise me. I'm usually easy to annoy, (and I tend to ignore annoyance unless it's a repeated thing), and difficult to anger, (though my anger tends to be violent and rather unforgiving), so the easiest way for someone to fall in my eyes is to disappoint me. 

There's been a bit of that recently. I might be less chatty with a few people for a while. But even if you're on that list, you're still my friend and you should still feel free to talk to me. I won't lie about being disappointed, but I'll only bring it up or lecture you if you ask.

So. Brunch. Who's interested?

I tried to put together an e-mail list, but that failed, so instead I'll focus here.  If I've invited you specifically, you are at the top of my list.  If I haven't invited you specifically, you're still on the list and I was probably forgetful.

In either case, if you'd like to head to Somerville on some Sunday (or Saturday) to be fed scones or sausage or whatever's on the menu that week, reply with weekends you're free and any other relevant information.

Relevant information includes but is not limited to: Dietary restrictions such as vegetarianism, dietary preferences such as an inexcusable dislike of raw banana, and social preferences ranging from "I'd be bringing my SO" to "Please don't invite me at the same time as a bunch of people I don't know." ("Tomorrow" is a valid answer for time, though I can't guarantee I'll be prepped to have people over by then.)

I'll typically invite 3 to 5 guests at a time (making a crowd of 6 to 8 once my housemates and I are added), but I've been known to invite as few as 2 and our apartment can technically fit as many as 7.

Comments are screened, so don't worry about your bizarre food preferences becoming public knowledge. (To make you feel better, I don't eat bacon. Not to worry, my housemates do and it will occasionally show up at brunch.)

75% of my brain lately has been work stress, 10% social, and 10% desire for sleep. None of that's interesting, (until I make plans for a dinner party and/or Dune), so here's random LARP thoughts:

( Rage )

( Intercon )

( Endgame )

Warning: Preachiness. Also I should be working.

Alright world, I have a request.  It's a fairly simple one, so I hope you can handle it:

( Not Nice Lecture Below )

a.k.a. "Hockey is not included in the Constants of Cool. (But only because Jerry is incorrect and American.)"

Canadian eBay guy is either redeemed and soon to be sending me my stuff, or stringing my patience on a little longer.  Shall see.

Meanwhile I've apparently built a Doctor/Dominator?  Personality under debate, past almost non-existent, but the fact that I'm playing with numbers again increases the odds that I'll PC.

( Stats below )

Many things under debate, but it's stabilizing. I'm considering trading in Mental Blast for Advanced First Aid and Clear Compulsion, but having some offensive ability is nice. I also considered getting rid of the staff, but the one game I was at as a healer with no weapon was terrifying.  (And people STILL told me to look after Kim.)  Maybe if I had a dedicated thug friend I'd consider it.

Or maybe I should scrap all of this and play a Scholar to teach Spence what reading feels like.

Crashing before even getting to a con is awkward.  Expected, and Arisia was still fun, but I will be glad to get a couple weeks sans events or travel or emergencies (I hope).  Plus it's been over a month since I've had a full week of work, and while this month has included a biopsy, two blizzards, Christmas, New Year's, and the death and funeral of my grandmother, I still feel bad about that.  I'll work a few extra hours this week to catch up with where I wanted to be by now, even if my boss keeps telling me not to worry.

Also on the to do list: Restore order to the immediate environment (cleaning, grocery, laundry), get back to exercising, solve social thing that is making me a worse person, figure out comfortable acceptance/working state for other social thing, write, acquire things for Endgame, figure out Endgame: Canada, figure out what to do about no-good-thieving-give-me-my-game-already Canada, work on campaign already darn it, and stop spending money.  

Now that the five days of socializing and debauchery have been completed with a couple 4th ed encounters and a viewing of The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra to finish it off, I think I might try sleeping for a few days. I remember liking it. 

So, 2010.  Academic stress and failure, homelessness and job hunting, troubles for many of my friends, relatives in the hospital, invasive medical tests... But I also graduated, moved into a great apartment, found a job I adore, and met my nephew.  I don't think I quite broke even, but I am glad the good things tended to be weighted toward the end of the year. 

2011, meanwhile, is starting off pretty solid.  Everyone's health is stable, the lives of those I care about mostly seem to be calm and/or happy, I have the aforementioned job and apartment, and once a couple things are wrapped up I'll have almost no external commitments to my time.  Since all my colds and excuses are gone, my gym membership needs to start getting used again, I have a couple writing projects to work on, I still want to see about getting a campaign together and kind of want to play in another 4th ed game at some point, I have ridiculous chainmail to make, boffer weapons to acquire and work with, and a number of people that I need to start spending regular quality time with.  I also need to start looking into proper money management now that I have it, figure out exactly what my new, strange health benefits are and arrange both those and some sort of psychologist to talk to, and I'd really like to acquire the last few bits of furniture I need to properly settle into my room.

In terms of actual plans with dates, I think I'm going to sit down with a calendar sometime in the next week and map all of that out, but mostly con and LARP season is starting up again.  Other than that, the only large event I'm planning for is my first real vacation.  I haven't finalized any specifics yet, but I have vacation days and money, and I think those will pair up nicely with my wanderlust.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to spend a week in Europe this year.  Close to my birthday if I can update my passport in time.  I'm kind of insanely excited about it.  I also get to finally journey west of the Mississippi for the first time.  I don't know how long I'll be hanging out there, since it's for a family wedding, but I'm pleased anyway.

But to clear up one more commitment from 2010:

Day Ten: One confession.
I honestly don't know why, but sometimes the idea of dropping everything and leaving is tempting.

I haven't gone to sleep yet, so it's still

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

1. My new nephew.
2. My father.
3. My sister.
4. My mother.
5. Me.

This should be expected by now.

( Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done. )

Yeah, six was kinda stretching it. I do miss Grype, though. More than specific actions I take, I tend to regret aspects of my self. My tendency not to do anything I might regret, for example. That's frustrating as Hell.